The PS3 Media Server icon is officially locked for modification. There are other threads on this forum for how to unofficially modify it if you want to try.
Your other requests are outside the scope of this forum. The DLNA server can in "no way" (at least not in the ways you're asking) change how the DLNA client displays the data it sends or how the client controls itself.
I provide NO application support via PM or email, so please post your question to the forum.