after much messing around I am proud to say everything is working. I followed the following post and adjusted the config file and forced ps3ms to see my Sony BD player as such.
I'm running 100mb wire and a relatively new PC. the key was to update the config, as Sony players have issues with mkv's. I tested everything out with my ps3 and was able to get stutter free playback only after placing movies on pause for about 5 minutes to allow the buffer to fill up. this worked on both the ps3 and BD player. this is the only way I can get stutter free btw. if that is the worst of it, than I am a happy camper.